(as an aside: depression sucks. i had really bad post-partum depression after irina was born, and i've never really snapped out of it. i mean, i think i've always had it to some degree or another, but i did a lot of "self medicating" as a younger adult and it wasn't until i was straight that i could look at what i deal with and realize that yes, i have an illness. and until recently i delt with it on my own.~delt with it? delt with it? who am i trying to kid, i didn't deal with it~some days are harder then others. this feels like it's going to be a hard one)